Omg I feel so stupid and useless right now sighs. This is just ranting post hahahaha. I guess there were opportunities for me to take on, its like right there for me to take it , yet Im so stupid and scared i dont for what I just dont want to take that step forward. Now I have to go the long hard way. How the hell do you even start finding jobs and how the hell do you write resumes and how do you start talking to those employers over the phone to get information and everything...How do all my friends do it so easily!? haiz. Almost all of them found jobs. And like what the hell, im the one always saying i need jobs and money and blah blah yet Im the very last one to get it. No wait, I havent even found it yet. Oh god, Im such a useless person. Too afraid to do anything. :C Then my father he doesnt really want me to get job I dont know why he wants me to learn some new course ajhsadad really ah. Ahhhh I dont know la I just feel stupid and dumb and worthless and useless and haiz. And not just this there's more but I really dont wanna talk about it and yeah. just ranting. Its been in me for so so long but I dont know who to tell and whether if they understand , I wonder why I start ranting in this post in this blog, its not like anybody will read this chunk of boring words. I know I should go to god and pray but recently i feel very far away from him. I know its just me but , sighs. sighs. I am such a messy human being.